What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
