dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize