Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry about my life...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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