just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
