Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
