Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize