At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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