ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
