why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
