You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
