i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
