she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
