Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Randomize
