Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
