she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
