so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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