My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
