You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize