my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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