Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He better not be in your backpack
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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