Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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