I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize