You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
