dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize