At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
