I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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