READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sext me about skeletons
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
