sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
