She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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