I got chris browned last night
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
