if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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