If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
