I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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