I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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