Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
