Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
