I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize