Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
