I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
