YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
