worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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