I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
