I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
