spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
