I have demons in me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
