things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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