We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
