So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
