I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I faked an abortion last night.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
