After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize