the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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