Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
