Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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