you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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