Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
