Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
