is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
