Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
