kristin has been a bad kristin
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
