So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize