yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't trust your balls anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
