Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize