What a fucking waste of an outfit
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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