We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
